We all know we should suffer the consequences when we’ve done something wrong. But what about when we obsessively and uncontrollably blame ourselves for the actions of another in order to minimize the actions?
Nothing you do can justify something someone else chooses to do. You might prompt a discussion or even an argument, but you cannot directly cause the actions of another.
Think about it this way. If you told a friend to go bungee jumping, and she did, would you take full credit for her bravery? No! You may have gotten her started thinking about it, she might have researched it because you mentioned it, but the choice to follow through is hers.
Keep that in mind when you wash away the negative choices of those you love because you feel you played a part in leading them to that choice. We all make mistakes, but no mistake you make directly causes something else to happen.