The funny thing about this blog is how it can be inspirational and honest all in one. Most of the time I’m feeling inspired and passionate about life, but frankly, sometimes I sulk. Today is one of those days. I always give you fair warning!
I can’t really put a finger on how I’m feeling tonight other than disappointed with a bunch of different little things happening in my life. I don’t think the disappointments are relevant because they could be anything, it’s more about the feelings of disappointment and uncertainty.
What it really boils down to is…I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed because my life is not an orchestra. Not because I’m hoping I’ll be surrounded by music, but because I can’t seem to control what’s happening around me.
To be honest, I like things to go the way I want them to. I used to think I was the conductor, and my life was just falling into place the way I was planning it. Some days are a big wake up call: Life isn’t something I can mold and plan.
Ugh. That’s unfortunate.
The interesting part is it has always been out of my control- everyone’s is. You just don’t realize it until something happens, something that wasn’t in the plan, and there’s nothing you can do to change it.
Most days I’m excited about fate and what life may have in planned for me. I’m always daydreaming about new projects, new ideas, and the potential of the future. (I blame Pinterest.)
The trouble with dreaming, though, is the way it serves as a form of planning. Sometimes I dream up the way things will turn out, and when they take a different turn, disappointment kicks in.
Today I let it turn my attitude into a negative one. My unplanned future feels a little empty. I’m afraid at the end of the day, I’m only left with myself.You know what, though? (Here’s the positive.) I’m starting to truly understand what it means to love yourself and to reach for your dreams. The unknown, the girl without a plan– it means the future is in front of me, and lucky for me- I have no idea what amazing things may be in store.