The Relationship Archives

By Myself for the First Time in a Long Time

If you were wondering where I’ve been the past month. I’d like to say I was off on some exciting adventure in my new-found single & fear-fightin’ life, but…that’s simply not true.

I was actually about two feet from my computer, on the couch, in my pjs, watching reruns of Modern Family and eating chocolate chip cookie dough.

Go ahead, judge me.

For the first five months after my separation, I threw all my energy into [crying, sulking, and] working on myself so I would come out of this stronger. And I did! I swear. Stick with me here.

For the next few months, I rearranged, redecorated and remodeled my house to feel like my own. I did it…I love it. It’s cozy, clean, organized, and so ME.

Then, I was left with this last month. Here I was in this beautiful, lonely house with new-found time to do whatever my heart desired. But, instead of working on my next project, I sat still. All I could find the energy to do was to enjoy my new environment and relax.

Believe it or not, relaxing wasn’t easy. My mind fought back the whole time, but my body was tired. I told myself to get up and get moving. One day, I stopped fighting it. I decided rest was exactly what I needed. Not forever, but as the next stage.

I wasn’t a total bump on a log. I’ve met so many new friends, especially one who has taken me under her wing and pulled me up screaming and kicking at least once a week to do something fun.

{Check out the Christmas tree we made for a local decorating competition!}

Now, I feel a change again. There are definitely nights I’d like to stay in and relax, but after my little vacation, I’m feeling reenergized. There’s a slight difference in my mood, and I’m excited to find out what adventures are in store.

This blog is about facing fears. It’s about being afraid, but doing it anyway.

When I started writing, I was afraid to get out of an explosive relationship. Then I left, and I was afraid I wouldn’t stick to my decision, or that I had made the wrong one. My fear changed again as I realized my life was about to be very different than I’d planned.

Now, I can write about the fear of being alone. I’m here, and it’s not bad. It’s pretty great sometimes. I’m finding ways to manage it and enjoy it. Stay tuned.

Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: